HELP, HELP, OH, HELP!!!

My Majesty is in great despair, SQUAWK, SQUAWK, SQUAWK! My feathers, my beautiful, glorious green and red and blue and yellow Amazon feathers - oh, yeah, and the dumb little white downy things, too - are falling out!! SQUAWK, SQUAWK, SQUAWK.

Help me, help me, help me. I'm just a poor little, spectacled Amazon parrot, far from my homeland, oppressed by all these strange people who don't appreciate my gorgeous majesty. What can I do?

Fatlady, that bitch, just strokes my disintegrating wings and says something about a moult. I bit her very, very hard. My whole majestic body itches and I must have malaria or something and she just says moult.

And, AND, she put some foul stuff called 'extra vitamins' in my water, what's that all about?I'm really a very sweet little bird, why must she oppress me like this.

AND NOW, she's decided that I should not screech. I, My Majesty, not command my subjects? Surely, she jests. An evil conspiracy called 'Parrots Only,' a Yahoo group, has advised her that when I screech she should cover my home as if it were night until I stop. But I am smarter than this evil, right wing conspiracy. When she gets the cover, I immediately fall silent. Then when she walks away, I screech even louder and she walks back and I get quiet...you see how smart I am and how stupid she is? But now she has decided to cover me even if I fall silent. I DO NOT LIKE THIS, NO NOT ONE BIT. She is a bully and needs to be bitten really, really, really hard, I think maybe on her nose!

But this battle has only begun and I SHALL WIN THE WAR!!!


squawk!!!

SQUAWK!!!!

SQUAAWWK!!!!!


SQUAAAWWWKKK!!!!!!!

Indulging Fatlady

LIKE LITTLE GIRLS,

AND BUTTERFLIES,

AND MY MAJESTY,

NIHANGS NEED NO EXCUSE!!

NOTE THAT THE KECHERA OF THE GENTLEMAN ON THE LEFT ARE VISIBLE

THE ABOVE GENTLEMAN IS NAMED SUKHA SINGH. HE IS 19 YEARS OLD. THAT THING HANGING OUT OF HIS TURBAN IS CALLED A FARLA. IT MEANS HE IS A NIHANG GENERAL. HE IS OF PARTICULAR NOTE BECAUSE HE BEARS A STRIKING RESEMBLENCE TO MANDEEP SINGH KHALSA (6 AUGUST 1942, DOVER, DELAWARE, USA-3 NOVEMBER 1984, DELHI, INDIA)

SQUAAWWKK!!!

SQUAAAWWWKKK!!!!

apropos of nothing, this monstrosity is called a Burqini:

It is for swimming and sunbathing on the beach.

SQUAAAAWWWWKKKK!!!!!

Dancing

Fatlady asked me to do her a favour and post this PICTURE. I don't know why. Something to do with this chihuahua she used to have named Boo.

And she keeps giggling like the fool she is.

Anyway, this guy is entirely too old and isn't even wearing a kurta pajama! And what kind of a man enters a Sikh male beauty contest anyway?










I'm a lot more beautifuller and I'm not a Sikhparrot!





SQUAWK!!!

SQUAAWKK!!!

SQUAAAWKKK!!!

My Majesty, Her Majesty

THE WHITEST PERSON IN THE WORLD

Guess what I saw on CNN this morning? (Yes, I watch CNN; Fatlady and Darkman are liberals, they refuse to turn on all those wonderful unbiased fellas on Fox News Channel, so I have to watch CNN if I want any news at all.) Anyway, I saw this old lady with a hat that looked like a scarlet macaw calling herself The Queen. Can you imagine!? Everyone knows that I AM THE QUEEN. SQUAAWWKKK!!!

It turns out that she really is a queen of some sort. Not a real Queen like I am, of course. She calls herself Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain, that is England, Ireland (part of it), Scotland (sort of, but the Scots don't always agree) and Wales. I have heard that she is the WHITEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Like a cockatoo. She's walks around like she thinks she'll really something special, but she's uuuggggglllllyyyyy.

Compare her majesty to My Majesty, if you will. I am a most lovely green, like the main colour I chose for my blog. I have a bright red circle around each eye and a line across my beak connecting them almost by not quite. Above my beak is a white, sort-of, but not quite really white row of feathers with a little bit of light blue. On my wings I have some bright blue near the tips and some orange next to my body, but you can't see the orange unless I open my wings to show you. That's how they tell I'm a girl. You can see the orange shoulders on the boys. On my tail there are some of the brightest, most beautifullest red feathers you can ever imagine seeing. I am colourful. I am not a dumb goreh bird and I am My Majesty. And no ugly old lady from somewhere else can be a real queen. Just me.

SQUAWWWKKK!!!

SQUAAWWWKKK!!!

SQUAAAWWWKKK!!!

Do you see the picture here? That is not me, but it looks like someone impersonating My Majesty, one of my doubles. Fatlady took it off the Web - she calls it snagging or roaching - but I want to get a picture of me showing my wings. Maybe one day I can get Darkman to take one to put there, but up till then you'll need to see the imposter and the little picture of me with Fatlady. I know it's not the same, but keep hoping and someday, you might really get to see me.

SQUAWWWKKK!!!

SQUAAWWWKKK!!!

SQUAAAWWWKKK!!!