HELP, HELP, OH, HELP!!!

My Majesty is in great despair, SQUAWK, SQUAWK, SQUAWK! My feathers, my beautiful, glorious green and red and blue and yellow Amazon feathers - oh, yeah, and the dumb little white downy things, too - are falling out!! SQUAWK, SQUAWK, SQUAWK.

Help me, help me, help me. I'm just a poor little, spectacled Amazon parrot, far from my homeland, oppressed by all these strange people who don't appreciate my gorgeous majesty. What can I do?

Fatlady, that bitch, just strokes my disintegrating wings and says something about a moult. I bit her very, very hard. My whole majestic body itches and I must have malaria or something and she just says moult.

And, AND, she put some foul stuff called 'extra vitamins' in my water, what's that all about?I'm really a very sweet little bird, why must she oppress me like this.

AND NOW, she's decided that I should not screech. I, My Majesty, not command my subjects? Surely, she jests. An evil conspiracy called 'Parrots Only,' a Yahoo group, has advised her that when I screech she should cover my home as if it were night until I stop. But I am smarter than this evil, right wing conspiracy. When she gets the cover, I immediately fall silent. Then when she walks away, I screech even louder and she walks back and I get quiet...you see how smart I am and how stupid she is? But now she has decided to cover me even if I fall silent. I DO NOT LIKE THIS, NO NOT ONE BIT. She is a bully and needs to be bitten really, really, really hard, I think maybe on her nose!

But this battle has only begun and I SHALL WIN THE WAR!!!


squawk!!!

SQUAWK!!!!

SQUAAWWK!!!!!


SQUAAAWWWKKK!!!!!!!